As my tears flow...I love you Sha'kay♥

Sometimes I wonder....why? Why was it her time to leave? I know it's not my place to question God's work. But I can't help but to let my mind wonder and come up with these questions that I feel the need to have answered. I try not think about the tragedy, at all...but when I'm all alone all the emotions flow out of my soul and into my hands as if I can stop the pain that it causes. I remember walking down the hall way at my middle school crying, crying for God to bring her back...but in reality she'll never be back. So I pretend that she's next to me, comforting me, but me pretending that she's here with me can only last for so long. She's been gone for a year now, but I still cry as if it was yesterday. I miss that beautiful smile...I write notes to her, wondering if she'll ever write back...but it seems as if she's writing me pages and pages because she has yet to write back, but that's ok...I'll wait as long as I have to for her. But the day that it's my time to go home, is the day that I'll be at peace, because I can finally see her beautiful face...again. Although I try to pretend I'm fine and it really doesn't bother me as much as it use to, I'm not fine...I fight back tears just to show that I'm strong, but time is running out and winding down. I'm just ready to be with her again! It's so much anger, heartache and pain built up on the inside and sometimes I find myself blaming the man above...but then I come back to my normal state of mind and I remind myself that you're now in a better place, you're no longer in pain...you're resting at peace and watching over us til it's time for us to come home. Just save me spot in heaven  & know that whatever I do is in the remembrance of you. I love you baby girl! ♥